When Your Child Struggles with Reading
My son struggles to read and it breaks my heart. Despite all of my training as a teacher, reading to him throughout this life, and a love of stories, reading is not easy for him. He struggles daily, but we have found some solutions that work for us.
A couple years ago I wrote a blog post about my son toward the end of his Kindergarten year. It is two years later now. He’s at the end of his second-grade year and I wanted to post an update about what has worked for us and where he is at right now. Yes, he still struggles with reading.
There has been no magic solution. Reading hasn’t “clicked” for him . . . yet. It continues to be a daily struggle that something he “hates”. We persevere through his daily reading activities and little-by-little he has made progress. Enough progress that we will continue what we’re doing until he stops making progress and we need to pivot again.
School will always be a struggle for him. We can and will find interventions and solutions to make it easier and more manageable. I don’t think school will ever be easy for him like it was for me. Luckily he loves to learn new things and discover new ways to do something. He is creative and artistic. We build on his strengths and support his weaknesses.
What we’ve done in the past two years
You can refer back to the original post about What Happens When Your Child Doesn’t Learn to Read in Kindergarten for in-depth information about his Kindergarten year in a public charter school.
Shortly after the start of first grade, we moved. We moved far enough away that we needed to switch schools. We also moved into an area that didn’t have as many school options, at least many that didn’t heavily emphasize academics. I knew that the schools in our area wouldn’t be a good fit for my son, so it was one of the decisions that lead us to homeschool.
Homeschooling has been one of the best decisions we have ever made. We love the flexibility, the amount of play time the boys get, and the ability to craft our schedule and make decisions about where we spend our time. It also allows us to go slow, at my son’s pace. I don’t have to push him. I don’t have to see him break down and question why he’s not as smart as the other kids in class.
Yes, we still struggle. Each day is a battle to get him to do his school work. But those are more character and discipline issues rather than an ability to do the academic work. We provide schoolwork that is just at his level and we move forward one step at a time, a little bit each and every day.
Homeschooling has given us the flexibility to make decisions about the type of school work we do and how fast we go. It allows us to pivot and change direction if something isn’t working. Homeschooling gives us time.
Reading in First-Grade
We moved a month and a half into my son’s first-grade year. This was the year that he would have gotten extra reading support at school, but since we moved, that was no longer available to us.
We originally chose a curriculum for homeschooling that went too rapidly through key phonics concepts. We used it for about a month and that month was great! It was mostly review for him.
After the first month, some major anxiety set in. I think it was multiple factors, including the move, the change in school, and the stress of trying to learn to read. His anxiety took the form of crying and breaking down about schoolwork and anxiety about leaving the house. He didn’t want to be dropped off anywhere and became very attached.
Needless to say, school was put on hold to just learn how to be together again. We pushed forward with a few “light” school tasks, mainly worksheets that required a little bit of phonics work, but not much else.
The worksheets, surprisingly, work really well for us. I generally hate worksheets in a classroom setting, but at home, the worksheets were a finite task for him to complete. He could easily see the end of the task and mentally set himself up to engage with it for a set amount of time. The worksheets weren’t too overwhelming.
In about May of his first-grade year, we started using All About Reading, which is a reading program designed for children who struggle with reading. It goes slowly and is mastery-based, meaning that students have plenty of practice with phonics patterns using a variety of activities.
Initially, I didn’t like the program. we tried it about two months after we had moved (in December), but my son was still battling anxiety and the timing wasn’t right. I needed to give him more time and establish some home routines before we jumped into the complete program. I let it sit for 4-5 months and picked it up again in May. It was just what we needed.
We love All About Reading, now.
What is All About Reading
All About Reading is a reading program that scaffolds learning to read in small manageable chunks with a variety of entry points and activities. The sequence of the program is set up so that students do a lot of work with consonants, short vowels, digraphs, and blends before moving onto long vowel patterns. I mean a lot of work. Like 53 lessons of work.
It is very repetitive, which works well. It also includes some games and activities that engage children and making reading tasks fun. There is also plenty of stories to read that practice the skills learned in the lessons. The stories are controlled text so that students are only practicing what they learned. This was a major struggle of ours – finding text that was controlled enough. All the trade books we found threw in too many sight and story words. They got in the way of truly reading the text.
All About reading is mastery-based. You go as slowly or as quickly as the student. This is a key piece for us. I can plan a set of activities for the day and easily add in or subtract activities depending on how he’s doing (both academically and attitude-wise). We can easily pick up where we left off the previous day.
There are several reasons that I love using All About Reading – it’s scaffolded well, the sequence of phonics skill development is incremental flows well, there are plenty of lessons, it moves slowly, and it’s all printed for me. This program has worked well for us and I’ve seen a ton of growth in my son’s reading level this past year.
Second-Grade Reading
We’re at the end of second-grade now. We have used All About Reading from the end of first grade and will likely continue to use it until we’re finished with the program. We’re mid-way through level 2 right now. He’s reading all CVC words, blends, digraphs, two-syllable open and closed syllables and VCE words, including VCE words in compound words. He has learned so much this past year and come a long way.
We still have a long way to go. We’ll likely continue to use All About Reading unless we need to pivot again. We’ve also started using All About Spelling, which is a great accompaniment to All About Reading. Since he’s older, we’re breezing through All About Spelling, but I expect we’ll hit a wall with it soon and need to slow down a bit.
Can he pick up a book and read it? Not really. Not yet. His stamina, motivation, and interest aren’t there yet.
My son LOVES stories. We listen to a ton of audiobooks. He also loves writing stories (he draws them out and his father or I write the words). The other day, he actually said he wants to be an author when he grows up. This makes my mama heart so happy! My son, who daily struggles to read, sees himself as an author.
Since reading is such a struggle for him, he doesn’t like to read his own books. Audible has become our best friend. We love Read Aloud Revival and finding new chapter books that we can listen to.
He has just started to read for a purpose. The other day we were talking about some texts I’d received from his uncles and aunts. He wanted to know what they said, so I had him read them. He struggles through it, but it was just the motivation he needed. I’m noticing that he’s reading more and more environmental print for a purpose.
Does he still struggle? Yes. Has he made progress? You bet! Will he continue to make progress? Yes, because no matter what, we will adjust to meet his needs.
What has worked for us?
There’s not one magic thing that has made the difference. It has been a combination of homeschooling, choosing just the right reading program, working daily, audiobooks, and developing a love of stories.
We have come to realize that doing little bits of school each day works better for us than a longer amount of school time for fewer days. We often “do school” on Saturdays, too. School for us consists of about 20-40 minutes of reading activities, 20 minutes of math, and some social studies or science. We do a science class once a week and a lot of “field trip” type of activities as a family.
Keep in mind that at the time I’m writing this, we have a kindergartener who is at or above level and a second grader who is reading below grade level. At this point, I don’t feel the need to do too much writing and grammar instruction beyond writing stories and some written reflections. Next year, I plan to start some grammar with my oldest, if his reading continues to progress on its current trajectory.
Just a consistent short time for reading makes a huge difference. Even during the summer. Last summer we touched on phonics and reading daily. It helped maintain his reading level and we didn’t lose ground over the summer.
What has worked for us? One of the major things has been realizing who my son is and what he needs. He loves to learn, but not a traditional school-type of learning. He loves to explore the world around him, go on adventures, make-believe, tell stories, and have fun. I love that we have the opportunity to give him what he needs and support his academic development along the way.
Hi. I have a four year old who I think is struggling with reading. I say I think because many persons have told me that he is quite fine. He knows his letters and letter sounds (confuses m and n) but cannot identify words. I am a little worried as I am not sure if he has a learning disability. He has a vast vocabulary and speaks well. He has a great imagination and is quite creative. He is also shows more progress in math than reading. What advice can you offer? Should I be worried?
HE IS 4….. IT IS PERFECTLY NORMAL FOR HIM TO NOT READ YET!!!!
I have a little girl that I’m a little bit worried about. She just turned six and is in 1st grade this year. She LOVES math and she’s way above her level in it and she will sit down all day to figure out a math problem if she has to, but she doesn’t have the same love or even like of reading. She says she “hates” it and its too hard. She can identify all of her letters and all of the sounds they make except “L” which she makes as a “ruh” sound. She goes to public school and we just don’t have enough time in the day to homeschool. But I’m so glad I read this from a teacher and parents point of view. But I still feel worried, like I feel her teachers will think that she has some sort of learning disability or ADD. Should I be worried?
We always worry about our children. It’s what makes us parents and especially mothers. You’re aware of her needs which helps a ton.
Talk to the teacher at the beginning of the year and share your concerns. Reading is hard work. My son hates reading, but he LOVES stories. Read to her often. Get some audiobooks. You can do an Audible membership or often check them out from your library.
Keep tabs on how she’s doing this year and intervene with extra support when you feel it’s necessary. Build in a love for school and learning in general. The love of learning will help you go far.
My son is in second day of his kindergarten, but Isaac doesn’t know to read and write yet. Because I rarely read to him, English is my second language which doesn’t come naturally to me. When Isaac was between one to three years old, he traveled and lived in Vietnam with me. About two months before Isaac turned three and his sister Joy turned six months old, we moved back to America. My husband, Matthew, and I put Isaac in Jewish preschool (because Matthew is Jewish) immediately. Soon after the school recommended that Isaac needed Spesial Education because Isaac didn’t speak English much or in complete sentences, and sometimes not followed directions in his classroom. We didn’t know what special education was. But we were convinced that it’s free and would help Isaac improved his English and listening skill (seat still in class). The preschool directed us to school district where Isaac took assessments. Isaac was qualified for SE. After a year going to preschool special education, his English was improved immensely. He became talkative! Now Isaac speaks in complete sentences and more clear than Matthew and me. I thought (wow) SE was great, but it’s turn out I had other concerns about ES. Isaac was treated differently. If Isaac didn’t seat still or listening in class, teacher let a para deal with Isaac or made Isaac seat on calm down corner. They even put the compression vest and a chewing toy to help him concentrate. When I found out, I was furious, but I was convinced again and again that those devices worked on Isaac. I was listening isaac’s teachers, and ignored His concerns. Every time Isaac told me to tell the teachers to stop put chewing toy and the compression vest on him. I tried to convince him that these devices were good for him. He yelled at me that they didn’t work and he didn’t like them. I stopped listen to Isaac whenever he mentioned about compression vest and chewing toy. Isaac was upset for months over those devices, and one day he burst out crying when I pitched him up at school. He said he fought with the teacher and ran out his classroom when they made him wore the compression vest and chewing toy. Seeing him in tears and feeling a feller as a mother to protect son. Today is a third day Isaac stared kindergarten without ES. He said school is awesome. He loved kindergarten more then going parks and zoo. Just wait and see how Isaac doing without SP, and how his kindergarten treating Isaac. I wonder if I could talk to you on the phone about helping Isaac to learn and getting advice from you teach my son
I’m sorry, I don’t do consultations.
The best advice I have is to find other parents in your school who are familiar with the districts’ policies and who can support you. Depending on where you live, there may also be special education advocates, a person to help you navigate all of the meetings and documentation. A support person who can come alongside you and help you understand the system. Again, other parents will be your best resource for finding someone like this if they exist in your area.
This post is old I hope you were able to find some help. From what you wrote it doesn’t sound as if he needs special Ed but just needed to catch up in English. My parents spoke another language at home too and I went to preschool at 3 to get rid of my accent and to improve my English. My mother taught me to read despite English being a second language so don’t be scared you can definitely still support your child and teach. I have been teaching my four year old using hooked on phonics. It is the only system I found that was as simple as what I had growing up and it’s fun but we only do max 10 min a day as she’s tired after school and cannot sit still very long. I’ve switched to doing it in the mornings when possible which is tough as mornings are crazy. 🙂
Thank you for your perspective. It’s not a language issue for us; we are native English speakers. My oldest, who this post was written about, has profound dyslexia. He needed very specific intervention, which we started in third grade. He will always struggle with his dyslexia but has better tools in place when he needs them.
Great post. I related to much of what you said as a mother of a son in 1st grade. I was somewhat of an introvert, who loved and did well in school. My son is in 1st grade, also an introvert, but no big fan of traditional schooling. He loves exploring technology and the arts and it has been a struggle to get him excited about school type learning. My son also finds school boring and prefers to be at home creating his own games. We recently started the Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons book and this curriculum is really working for him. We spend about 15 minutes a day working on these lessons. I love that you touched on creating the learning environment that works best for you child within what one is able to do as the parent!!! Your article truly touched me, thank you!
I relate so much to all of the posts, as today I feel like the worst mom ever. I keep asking myself how can’t I teach my almost 7 year old son how to read. He is great at math loves solving any math problems but reading is not his best friend. We try and practice on and off during the week. I’m not going to lie it’s not everyday but at least twice a week. It’s a huge struggle for me, when I read to him one page (grade level 1) over and over and he is still not interested and can’t repeat what I just read to him. It’s extremely hard, frustrating and I’m running out of patience. I don’t know what else to do. Unfortunately I’m a working mom that works 10 hours a day with 1 hour each way of commuting. When I pick my son up from daycare (6:30 p.m) it’s time for dinner, bath and prepare everything for next day. I’m exhausted mentally and I get frustrated super fast so I know that doesn’t help him with being excited for reading.
I must say with putting how I feel on “paper” I feel better and I know I’m not alone.
Hi,
My son is a second grader, straight A student. His reading and comprehension at second grade level until he started this new school who uses Abeka and phonics- he actually has all As except phonics! He doesn’t know special sounds, etc- he is starting to get confused with his spelling words because is trying to Sound them out-
I would love to homeschool him-
Should I change him? Should I give him time? I personally think is not doing him any good but making him insecure!
He starting to not want to go to school-
Any suggestions are welcomed!
That’s a hard choice. You’ll have to look at all the factors and make a decision based on your family and his needs. Remember that no one thing is going to meet all the needs and check all the boxes. You’ll have to find the best fit.
I, too, have a son in second grade. He is at GRE level D (Kindergarten level). He loves school, but understands that he “learns differently” than other kids. I now believe that he shows characteristics of dyslexia. I only share this to say to some who may read this that sometimes there is something larger at play. Early intervention is key with many reading and/or learning disorders. While I believe that it is important to allow kids to learn on their own time and in their own way, I would hate to see someone delay interventions for a kid with one of these problems by misinterpreting the experience you ha e shared.
I wholeheartedly agree. I’m also 95% sure my son has dyslexia, although we haven’t officially tested for it. The interventions for dyslexic children generally focus on using a phonics-based instruction approach. Orton Gillingham programs are the gold standard, of which there are many. The All About Reading program I mentioned above is such a program and we have had success using it. Another program widely used is Barton. We are also layering on another phonics-based reading program this year for multi-syllabic decoding. Since we homeschool now, we have more time and flexibility to meet his needs without the pressures of reaching a specific guided reading level or being taught using a guided reading approach. Early intervention is definitely key for many reading disorders. Thanks for bringing it to the attention of future readers 🙂
Hey Jessica! Love hearing about your son’s wonderful life and interests. You are a great mom to homeschool him! As I read I can’t help but think of a program he may really benefit from. It is called Barton Reading and Spelling System. Check out the testimonies on the website of the parents and educators. My son is 7 and is struggling with reading, spelling, phonics. He is great in Math and other subjects.
Yes! Barton is a great program. It was what we would have used if All About Reading didn’t work. It’s working, for now, so we’ll see it through for a while longer. Thanks for the suggestion!
Thank you for this honest article about your son’s reading journey. I am a first grade teacher at a hybrid public charter school where kids learn online at home and visit with their teacher for 3 1/2 hours weekly. I appreciate your perspective of finding ways to help your child learn to read. It’s a very brave thing to make the decision to homeschool, because you know what works best for your kids. I like how you are not worried about keeping up with the other kids, and you’ve taken into consideration the current life situations you were dealing with. It sounds like your strategies have worked, because your son is making progress. That’s great! Your parent’s point of view guves me direction on how to help my parents with their kiddos.
Thank you for your two blog posts about your son and his struggle with reading. Your situation sounds very similar to ours, and we are going to begin homeschooling our son next week. Your son sounds almost exactly like ours. Creative, artistic, tells stories, good at math, love Legos and Minecraft. The decision was not easy but on top of struggling to read our son developed a stutter last year mid-way through kindergarten. This was right around the time he decided he no longer liked school, so it feels likely that it’s tied to his anxiety with learning. We’re really hoping homeschooling not only allows him to learn at his own pace, but will provide him with a much needed confidence boost.
So, onto my actual question. You mentioned you have a child in kindergarten who was reading above his level. Did you decide to also homeschool this child, and what informed your decision to homeschool or not? We currently have a preschooler at an actual preschool starting kindergarten next year and are struggling to decide what might be best. His kindergarten readiness assessment has not yet occurred, but we suspect he may take to reading more than his older brother.
Also what types of activities does your son engage in to get his quota of social activity. That’s the number one criticism we get when sharing with family or friends our decision to homeschool. “How’s he going to make friends and get used to other people?” Thanks in adavance!
We do homeschool our second child, as well. For us, it’s easier to have both boys doing the same program (homeschool vs. school). The decision was made in the light of what we were already doing.
We live in a neighborhood with a lot of kids, so they’re playing outside most afternoons. We also do a science and art class during the week and other activities often. Once you start homeschooling, you’ll likely find local homeschool groups or other families that homeschool. Our kids get plenty of social time, especially with kids of all different ages, not just one grade and classroom.
Thank you for this response. It does seem easier to have kids in the same household doing the same program.
Hi Daniel, I started homeschooling my son (a first grader) last September and I get asked the social interaction question a lot as well. For the now the plan is to have him play soccer and join a homeschool social group. There are groups of homeschooling parents that meet weekly so their kids can socialize i.e. play together.
Omg this made me tear up a little. I read your first blog and then found this one. My son is exactly the same as yours and since last year that he was in kindergarten his been having trouble with sight words. But his just like your son loves to be playing, loves to do his own comic books and also asks me how to write words for his comics. They are going to test him for dyslexia which I hope he doesn’t have, but sometimes I feel like a bad mom because I feel it’s my fault his falling behind, but also I feel like his too little to be going thru all of this since before they didn’t teach all of this until later on. Also my sons birthday is in August so he is probably one of the smallest in his class. Right now I just worry that they won’t make him repeat a year so that he won’t feel about himself, I am going to get a tutor for him also so that she could him, but I hope he dosent stress to much. Do you have any suggestions?
Sounds like dyslexia! I am so glad you are able to homeschool. I love all of your ideas and your son is lucky to have you. I am a retired high school teacher who had a child that could not read despite his effort and strong math and science skills, as well as hands-on work. Finally after 3rd grade we found out he was dyslexic – and he proclaimed “so I really am smart, God just made my brain to learn to read in a different way”.
After 1.2 years of Multi-sensory teaching of the English language and learning all the rules, he mastered the end of the year 4th grade Reading Test. He is now fixing to start his junior year of college to study Accounting as he wants to save money and run his own business. He is at college with no accommodations (his choice, not this mom’s) but college has been a breeze.
I currently work for a non-profit in Alabama who was started by a Pediatrician whose 3rd child was dyslexic. She will soon be doing YouTube videos about her experience on teaching her own child – how to read. The non-profit is AlabamaGameChangers.org and we evaluate for dyslexia and dysgraphia, as well as dyscalculia.
Kudos to you for what you are sharing!!! I plan to use some of these as I tutor part-time at home while I continue to support my dyslexic kid at college.
Thank you so much for your post!
I am a recently-resigned fifth-grade social studies teacher. I have made the choice to homeschool my 1st grader this year. He’s almost 7, and other than my inconsistency and his attitude about learning with me, he’s doing quite well.
I have the curriculum for 1st grade from my previous school district, and I’m having a hard time following the ELAR portion. I don’t feel that we have much direction, and I’m not wanting to spend anything on a new curriculum.
You have so many great resources, and I can pinpoint many of his struggles, but I don’t even know if I’m starting at the right point. He struggled with sight words in kindergarten, but I wasn’t worried about it. As a 1st grader, he still struggles with sight words (even some kindergarten words).
Here’s my question: what is the foundation that he needs from me? Should I be working on CVC words, or digraphs, or sight words? I feel like sight words are just thrown into the mix of everything without giving him a phonological foundation.
We have implemented a sound wall rather than a word wall, and we sort out sight words that way. Do you think this is productive? I just don’t want for him to fall behind.
The biggest struggle that we have right now is words that start with ‘w’. What, want, went, with, will, were, etc, but these don’t really seem to follow a specific learning pattern. These are sight words, and my little guy isn’t getting them. I am not sure if it is me or if there is a fundamental flaw in the school district’s curriculum. He may just not be ready, and I don’t want to shove these words at him if he’s not ready and/or if I’m doing it wrong…
Thank you again, and I look forward to hearing from you!
“What is the foundation that he needs from me? Should I be working on CVC words, or digraphs, or sight words?”
Yes to it all. By the end of first grade students should be reading two-syllable words with common syllables. He should progress through most of the phonics patterns in first grade. A sound wall is a good resource for decodable words. You could also have a sight word wall in ABC order for words that aren’t decodable. This post will help explain about sight words vs. high frequency words: https://whatihavelearnedteaching.com/5-hands-sight-word-activities-kindergarten/
Some of the w words you listed are sight words. W and WH are pronounced slightly differently and the W affects the sound of the A, so words like want and water don’t have a short A sound. Went, with, will are decodable.
Hello,
My son is in Year 1, good in maths, but struggles in reading despite having good phonemic awareness, he has good phonics knowledge, and is able to correctly sound out words. His spelling is at grade-level. I am seeking your thoughts on why he struggles to read when he has competent phonetics? How can I support his learning? He has average IQ, doesn’t have ADHD, or focus difficulties. Thanks,
This isn’t a question I can answer without more information. The best people to answer this question are those that work directly with your child on a regular basis. They can give you specific ideas on how to work with him at home. In generally, developing his love of stories, using read alouds and audiobooks, and focusing on oral reading comprehension from those read alouds would have great long-term effects.